This was a pretty ballsy request of the CIA. This dude who wrote a letter requesting Bin Laden’s porn collection got an unexpected response from the CIA.

Bro Bible – Established in 1966, the Freedom of Information Act essentially allows any citizen to petition federal agencies to release documents they don’t believe the government has the right to classify.

It’s a pretty powerful tool for journalists and Bros alike. I personally believe us dudes have a right to know what the world’s most wanted man masturbated to. I think something like that should enter the public record. Like… what if it turned out he exclusively watched white, male, American porn stars? Wouldn’t that be anathema to his beliefs? Wouldn’t that be an interesting thing to learn about the man?

Yes.

So, I sent the request. Here’s the text of it:

We at the men’s general interest publication BroBible dot com (one of the nation’s largest websites for men), would like to know what pornographic materials Osama Bin Laden had in his possession at the time of his death.

We are adults. We can handle it. We would like to know what kind of porn the world’s most wanted man jerked it to. Does being under the constant threat of capture require extra stimulation? I imagine it would be hard for him to focus on his dick, so I figure he had to watch some really nasty shit.

I’ll be damned. I just successfully wasted the time of the world’s most powerful spy agency.

UNFORTCH, the contents contained within were disappointing. I figured it would be, the letter a single sheet thin, like a college rejection note:

With regard to the pornographic material Osama Bin Laden had in his possession at the time of his death, responsive records, should they exist, would be contained in the operational files. The CIA Information Act, 50 U.S.C 431, as amended, exempts CIA operational files from search, review, publication, and disclosure requirements of the FOIA. To the extent that this material exists, the CIA would be prohibited by 18 USC Section 1461 from mailing obscene matter.

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