If this chick broke up with him over this, the relationship wouldn’t have made it very far either way.
“I made a hot pocket in the oven last night, and I of course needed to test if it was cool enough to eat. So I used the most appropriate method I could think of, I took a small bite. Superheated ‘cheese’ comes out, but no big surprises there.”
Logical. I think we’re all still with you, LazyDog. The only way to test the temperature inside that sleeping bag of artificially-made deliciousness is to give a nibble and assess.
“I proceeded to devour both pockets and sooth my burning lips and mouth with an icy beer. I went about my night and everything was normal. This morning I noticed I had burned my bottom lip near the right corner. It wasn’t too bad, just a small blister I noticed while shaving.”
“I went to work and went about my day, and proceeded to forget about my burned lip. I got off work and met up with my girlfriend. She gives me a big kiss, which then pops the blister.”
“She pulls away quickly as I reach towards the blister. She looks at my lip and asks me what is on it. I say it’s just a blister, but she just keeps staring and analyzing it. After a minute she picks up her purse and says, “no, that’s herpes”, calls me an asshole and accused me of cheating on her.”